Stop Trying To Please Everyone. Please Yourself First

Andrea Zanon Confidente
2 min readNov 9, 2022
https://andreazanon.co/stop-trying-to-please-everyone-please-yourself-first/

For most of us the most difficult day-to-day challenge is “getting to a no” which is what we call the process for deciding on what not to do. While this sounds easy to accomplish, it is not, as we are all conflicted and tend to say yes to please other people, or to delay the no for a future date.

Learn to tell everyone what you really think, and they will respect you more even though they may get disappointed. You may offend some, and burn some bridges, but those people may not be worthy of your time if they are unable to accept your straightforward reactions.

People have a low tolerance for conflict and so often agree to the request of others even when you don’t agree. You would rather act against your own desires rather than provoke an uncomfortable situation and even a conflict. My advice for you is that it is time to change. Start by saying thank you but no thank you. You will be empowered and gain a higher level of freedom and authority. You do it once, twice, three times and suddenly you will own more of your time, and you will be more effective with all of your decisions. Also, as you learn about the Power of No, you stop caring about what people think about you, and you reach a powerful level of freedom that allows you to focus on what matters most.

Be kind to yourself and to the world
Being nice or kind to someone else is powerful. In fact, it’s a valuable trait that empowers us while helping others. However, I am not talking about accepting any request just for the hell of being nice and because we want to please others. Being nice, means also saying no to request, and focusing on pleasing and celebrating yourself first.

Final thoughts
We have limited time and energy in our lives and people with the best intentions will take it away from us if we are not cautious with our decision. So, my advice to you is, whatever you do next, don’t say Yes. Make “No” your default setting. Be kind but say no. Saying yes comes with a massive opportunity cost as it removes limited time from the yes that really matters to your personal success.

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Andrea Zanon Confidente

International sustainable development consultant and empowerment specialist